My First “Proper” Job

As you might know I’ve had a few different types of jobs since I turned 16. I think I’ve worked in most industries, which would surprise most people as I’m only 21. I thought I’d tell you about my first “proper” job. By proper job I mean, Monday – Friday 40 hours a week.  This was an apprenticeship in business and administration, I was working as a receptionist at a doctors surgery. I’m not going to lie this was my favourite job, I’ve ever had.

I loved all the drama that happened daily at the surgery, everyday was an emotional roller-coaster, I was 19 while working there. I felt like I was really growing in to the role, I new how to handle the high pressured environment, I have always been fascinated by illness. That sounds really disturbed, but I have an un-diagnosed illness that has affected me my whole life, and health has grown into an obsession for me. The NHS was a great opportunity to learn the ins and out of every day life. I gained so many interchangeable skills, the dealing with difficult patients training is something that I still use every day.

However while this all sounds positive, because of this job i grew as a person, not for the best reasons.  I wasn’t always treated as member of the team, when I was working with the big reception team at the larger surgery I often felt unwelcome and was left to do the jobs that meant I was up in a corner on a different floor alone. Which is okay I’m happy to be on my own, but it’s nice to talk to people occasionally.

IMG_0497

Another bad point of this job was for me that I lived at the opposite side of the city and I couldn’t drive. I we’re travelling 3 hours a day to and from work. I left in the dark and came home in the dark. It made me  feel disconnected from real life. I’m sure lots of people do this, but I stuck it out for 7 months.

Finally, the reason that I grew some balls, figuratively. After 6 months I felt like I growing into the team, I wasn’t hidden away anymore, I had my own responsibilities. I really felt like I had settled in. Then one day we was talking as a group about the team, and people who were leaving. Then one of my colleagues said something along the lines of “no offence, Billie, but we’re talking about the team, not you. You’re the apprentice you are not a member of the team”. I snapped on the inside. I covered for everyone so much, I took the blame for things because I was the youngest and the apprentice I’d get a stern telling off then things would blow over all to protect my “team”. In that instance I stopped caring. I had my driving test a few days later, which I failed. On my way back to work, I swung by a recruitment agency and had got myself there starting the next month. I walking in to the surgery, wrote my notice. On my leaving interview, I said I’m leaving because I’m not a member of the team.

Off I went. I stopped letting people walk over me, started a new job, had new dramas, which is a whole other character building post for another day. Its been two years since I worked in the NHS, and I’m not going to lie. I couldn’t be happier. Don’t stand for anyone not making you feel welcome. Try your absolute best at everything and trust yourself. Take chances and learn for yourself.

I know this was a big lots of words post. If you’d like to know about my other jobs let me know, some of them were pretty crazy.

billie xox

Find more of me at http://billiegeena.co.uk/

My Obsession

This isn’t going to be a long post, or even a detailed post. I’m literally just highlighting my current obsession/addiction. You all are aware that I have a shopping problem. I always have, I probably always will.
This addiction has become tsum what of a problem.

I am addicted/obsessed/in love with Disney Tsum Tsums.

957_cp_tsum_tsum_disney_06102015

So far I only have thirteen, but these are all that are on my birthday wish list. It all started when my ex bought me a couple last year for my birthday. He bought me Stitch for my birthday.

IMG_1287

When I passed my driving test last August I then got Winnie and Donald.

IMG_1284

In the last few months I’ve found myself them more and more. Now I’ve got a cute little pyramid of tsums. I’ve vowed to keep buying them until I have the full little mermaid collection.

IMG_1280

Ariel, Triton, Eric, Sebastian. You will be mine and until then I will just keep collecting and hoarding from other collections.

IMG_1274.JPG

Do you collect Tsum Tsums? Do you like posts like this? Who is your favourite Disney character?
Please answer these super important questions below!

billie xox

Find more of me at http://billiegeena.co.uk/

So I disappeared again.

Hey girl, hey.  So I have disappeared for a little while again and I thought I’d let you know why.

Mainly I’ve not been here because I feel ill all of the time. I have an undiagnosed stomach problem that I’ve had forever but sometimes it flares up and makes me feel like death. I have been referred to the hospital again but I’ve had to wait 4 months until an appointment and I’ve got another month to go.  So that’s the biggest player in not been as social

Then I have my busy, crazy and weird life. I work in recruitment so I am stressed at least 300% of the time. When I’m feeling well I tend to be at an event. I have so many to write up for all of you. yaay!

I’ve also spent way too much time with 4 of my favourite people who are also Sheffield bloggers we’ve been planning the #steelcityblogmeet for 6 months now and its so close to the event. Which brings to to reason 60 of why I’ve not been blogging.

SOCIAL ANXIETY. I am so freaking nervous and stressed out to a point where the only way I’m not getting worked up is by  sleeping. I’m sure I’ll feel better once the stress of the event is over and I’ll be fine. I know my anxiety so its nothing I can’t work through.

I’m sure your all thinking “gee, that is a lot going on, Bill”.  I’ve had my usual ‘Billie Dramas’ going on as per. I went gluten free. I started eating gluten again. I went on a date that wasn’t a date. I had two car accidents, ish. Boy Drama. My little sister has out grown me. I made a whole branch of a company fall out with me.

If anyone wants more in depth of my dilemmas just ask, I have no secrets just mental scars that will make decent blog posts one day.

We’ve got lots to talk about, dear reader.

billie xox

Find more of me at http://billiegeena.co.uk/

Songs that are part of me

Do you ever look back through your life and think back to all those awkward, crazy and empowering moments in your life? I’ve been doing a lot of this recently and some how I seem to always have songs to  relate to parts of my life. Today is the first post in a new series called “Songs that are part of me” .  Whether they make me happy, make me think or are just a throw back, they are a part of my personality. I might just think that because I was a theatre kid.

My Happy Ending – Avril Lavigne

Avril-Lavigne-avril-lavigne-68090_1024_768.jpg

Under My Skin was the first CD I ever owned, I got it for my 9th birthday. Avril was so cool, she was angsty and just rocked. She was everything I wanted to be when I grew up, I loved how tomboyish she was. I remember when ever we used to drive anywhere I’d force my family to listen to this CD while I’d belt out all of the songs. More recently this song has made a come back for me, My Happy Ending became a song that relates to my ex, we broke up last year on good terms. Still its weird how much I relate to this song now and how many memories it brings back.

The Show – Lenka

lenka the show

13 year old Billie loved this song, its got such a uplifting rhythm and it made me feel so happy. Back at school I was quite badly bullied and I suffered with anxiety problems, I used to relate to this song because I always felt like I was caught up in the middle. The lyrics “Slow it down, Make it stop. Or else my heart is going to pop ’cause it’s too much, Yeah, it’s a lot to be something I’m not ” really stood out to me a lot. I used to really try my best to fit in and have friends, I wouldn’t be myself around people at all. It all got too much and my anxiety got worse, but eventually I came out of my shell and now I’ve the loud, ranting blogger with no boundaries or filter!

Sweet As A Whole – Sara Bareilles

tumblr_ngnp0yEQ5S1r2fr72o1_500

This is currently my favourite song, it literally sounds like something I would like. The song is just like me to start off we are so soft and sweet, then the more you listen you realise that I’m actually a bit of a bitch. Give it a listen!

Pocket Full Of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield

tumblr_mcxpsnro2D1r7u6oko1_500

Easy A, my favourite film, led me to this song, and it is now my feel good song. I can do so many dramatic re-enactments of this song, I love it, its a sweet escape…

There are lots more songs to add to the list, and lots more stories to tell. So bear with me while I gather more songs like this.

Do you have any songs that take you back? What are they?

Billie xox

 

Exploring Tinder

As I have mentioned in my last post, tinder is a scary place. You will get lots of matches and have lots of rubbish chat up lines. I have created a list of all my favourite conversations I have had on tinder. Hopefully if you are ever in situation you will see this post and cringe at how desperate “lads” are. Here are the types of conversations you will have;

The romantic
Tinder

Finding bae
TInder

The guy with the sweet words
Tinder

The conservationist
Tinder

The Smooth Guy
Tinder

The Illiterate Fool
Tinder

The Romantic
Tinder

The person who appreciates references
Tinder

Let me know if you would like to nosey at more of my conversations

Thanks,

Billie xox

Awkward, Single and Please Don’t Let Me Mingle

In the end of June and the beginning of July my relationship began to crumble, which was really over due. There was no love in what we had, we had gotten to stage where we was nothing more than friends. So we broke up.

I was back on the market for the first time since I was sixteen, I am 20 now so that is a long time. Which for anyone else would be an amazing concept however as a socially anxious introvert this is so scary for me.

Lets get back to tinder, it is a weird place. It takes a long long time to go through all the crazies but the idea of it is very good. Swipe left if you don’t like them or swipe right if you do. I tend to left swipe most people and I have noticed a very obvious pattern in people that I like. My type is guys with dark hair and beards – I never new. For more information on the guys you find on tinder click here.

Soon after getting tinder I had a date, it was really awkward for me and I couldn’t stop rambling. I did not know how to dress, what was appropriate to talk about or how much food I should eat. This person has since admitted that they originally wanted to friend zone me. However we have dates since and hung out very often. They are now not able to friend zone me so that is kind of a win on my part! However it won’t keep going on. 

I realised I hate going on dates. I hate socialising. It is not for me and I do not want to take any part in socialising ever again. It is really confusing, and I sometimes don’t see the point. 

I will keep you in the loop of my troubles in the land of dating and relationships.

Much love,
Billie xox